The Feminist Aspiring Househusband

Why I consider myself a male feministWhenever I meet someone new, I always dread the inevitable, inescapable question, "... so what do you do?". That question makes me cringe with anxiety as I somehow summon the courage to answer gently with, "I am a professional homemaker". Suddenly, an uncomfortable silence halts the conversation and seems to linger for a seeming eternity as I wait for their reaction to my profession in total fear of rejection.One can never predict who will accept you or who will reject you for being a male homemaker until the very moment their question is answered. Unfortunately, people either seem to welcome the idea of a male homemaker or they find it very threatening. This curious dilemma always makes me feel insecure in an unfamiliar environment until I feel I am truly accepted and welcomed.It has taken me years to get to the point where I can finally admit that I love being a homemaker. I happen to think that being a homemaker is one of the most important jobs in the world, and yet it is still considered a woman's domain by society overall. Even in the year 2006, most men are fearful of disclosing in public that they are homemakers, or male nannies or even househusbands. In general, men are terrified of being thought of as weak, passive or gay so they learn to hide their giving, caring and paternal side. This sentiment has been hammered into our minds since childhood and we feel wholly inadequate if we don't adhere to this old fashioned, patriarchal ideal.Men have made some progress - at least in numbers. There are over 3 million full-time male homemakers in the United States today and growing. Men are just now starting to enter into traditional female professions like nursing, office secretaries and being airline flight attendants, but we have a long, long way to go towards full equality. It sounds almost comical for a man to desire equality, but, in truth, many men like me are as much prisoners of the patriarchal system as women.However, there is no place to turn to when you are a male homemaker. There are no support groups or organizations where men can participate in meeting like minded men and exchange ideas, experiences and feel like a member of a community. Instead, male homemakers today are isolated at home and from each other in a society that tries to discourage men from pursuing careers in the home. In fact, the male homemaker movement has never even gotten off the ground as there are just too few of our numbers. So we suffer silently on the sidelines and helplessly wait for society to evolve.My only hope for men's equality is the women's movement for equality - this may sound strange but it is also true. Today, career women only make 75 cents on the dollar as their male counterparts with the same education and experience. Modern society penalizes women who choose to pursue advanced degrees and a professional career as they make women feel that they can either pursue a career or a family but not both like career men. Our sisters are leading the charge for equality and I am thrilled at their rate of progress. I support feminist leaders like Hilary Clinton who fight hard for equal rights for women. For not until we finally have a female president in the white house will society also truly accept me for being a professional male homemaker. I feel that my cause is the same as the feminist cause ... and the greater human cause.That is why my heroes are Hilary Clinton, Gloria Steinam, and the everyday woman who strives to reach her full potential whether that is raising a child at home being a CEO running a company. When women gain their equality, I am hoping that society will also embrace men who choose to enter homemaking careers. On that day, I will walk the earth without anxiety and insecurity of my environment.I have a dream. I want to live without fear of proclaiming my profession in public. I want to be recognized for my role as a homemaker just like women are finally being recognized for their immense value as career professionals. Wouldn't this be the perfect society if we were all just accepted for who we are and what we enjoy doing as a career? This is why I call myself a male feminist.

The Aspiring Househusband

This is my first Blog ever. I am a single guy in California whose biggest dream is to someday be a full-time househusband to a loving career wife. I am a romantic, a dreamer, a giver and a great support person. I would love to get correspondence from professional women who are curious or are actively seeking guys like me who are interested in being their at-home support person. I would also love to hear from other guys who are currently househusbands or are interested in being househusbands some day. I am currently employed as a full-time nanny & house manager because this is the closest I can possibly get to being a househusband without being married. I call being a nanny/homemaker my time in the "little leagues" until I can move up to the "big leagues" and be full-time, married househusband.

I never went to college, but I have been surrounded by super performers my whole life. My current employer is a VP of Marketing and I take care of her two kids and her household. I have also been an au pair in Europe and I have lived in Germany, Norway and Italy. I speak several languages and am very comfortable in European cultures.

I will be adding more material to my blog and I would love to get a dialog going with readers. Please post on my blog as I would love to hear from you.